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Friday, March 6, 2009

Facebook, shmacebook

I confess. I was a member of (gasp!) Facebook for, oh, let's say....five minutes. Somebody poked me and I poked back and then it went downhill when I got poked by some weirdo. So I cancelled my account after realizing I was getting sucked further into the giant black hole of the "interwebs". Lord knows, I spend enough time on here already.

Anyhoo, I found this amusing little article which I shamelessly lifted from today's Columbus Dispatch which shamelessly lifted it from The Chicago Tribune. I added the photos without shame.

"So you're trying to give up Facebook.

That a Web site can become a time-eating vice shows how we humans have devolved into double-clicking automatons.

Well, good for you, because the first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem.

We will tell you now that temptation will avail itself as you try to wean yourself from the compulsion.

It's hard, we know, not to post that cute picture of cats eating cheeseburgers.(Guilty!) But fight the urge.












Use this guide as an inspiration:


1. Give a real gift to someone you really want to have it--much better than "virtual coffee" or any of the other Facebook tchotchkes.







.
2. Watch Tron. Consider the fate that awaits those who stare too long at the computer. (Dude, really?)









3. Try playing real Scrabble (or Scramble, as Nathan calls it)--the version with the tactile game board and wooden tiles. (My favorite board game.)




4. Poke people. Actually poke them. Then walk away without saying why you poked them. (I would not suggest doing this to just anyone on the street!)




5. Write down the last five things you did. Wait 10 minutes. Read the list. Ask yourself whether you care. ('Nuff said.)


















6. Join an actual group--the Shriners, for example. Resign after two weeks.








7. Develop a real-world obsessive-compulsive disorder. Wash your hands a lot; wash your hands a lot; wash your hands a lot. (My apologies to those who might be suffering from OCD.)

















8. Instead of posting pictures, organize the ones you've already taken.

9. In the grander scheme of things,do you really need to know that "My favorite color is blue" is one of 25 random things about Julie, your middle-school algebra classmate?

10. Join Twitter. It's like Facebook for people with short attention....Ooh! Shiny object!"


Ummm, maybe not.

24 comments:

Ruth said...

Hahahaha, I'm laughing out loud at #6!

This is a great follow-up post to mine!! I was just responding to comments there, so this is perfecto.

Too bad I'm not close enough to poke you and walk away.

I like this: organize pictures instead of posting them. I need to do that and free up some computer space.

Hey, the word verification for my comment is:
coment

Ruth said...

I meant I need to delete pictures while I organize them. Way too many that don't need keeping.

Susan said...

Ruthie, I know what you mean. I try to go through my pictures a couple times a month and delete, delete, delete. Especially stupid stuff I download for here. I really need to get an external hard drive to store all of them.

It's too bad I'm not clever enough to have thought up all these lines. But I knows how to appreciate them! My favorite is the Tron guy. Obviously he didn't look in a mirror before going to the Tron-a-thon!

Even though I only typed half of it, it still took me an incredible amount of time to get it posted. Due to umpteen edits and looking for pics.

Poke-poke!

tipper said...

Yes Facebook can be a life sucker if you let it! Neat post!

Char said...

LOL yes, I facebook and twitter - I also flickr and blog. but... twitter is more like a side note and FB is away to keep up with out of town friends.

funny post though

Amy said...

Virtual tchotchkes??? Oy vay!

Ya know, it's interesting that you brought up this topic. I keep getting invitations to join various online communities and honestly I'm quite happy where I am. I ain't goin' no wheres.

And don't make fun of people who are regulars at ICanHasCheezburger...:p

Susan said...

Thanks,Tipper! Yeah, I figure I may not have that many years left, so I best not waste them facebooking, tweeting and what not. Not that there's anything wrong with that! :)

Susan said...

Hey, Char, you don't need to 'splain, darlin! I think it's great that people keep up with their friends using the aforementioned devices. Honey, I have enough trouble keeping up with the blog. S'what happens when you get old! :D

Susan said...

Oh no you don't, Amy! We're not gettin' on that merry-go-round again! :D

Yep, I'm happy here in BlogWorld, too!

Hey, don't knock LOLCats if you haven't tried.....Oh wait, you have! It doesn't take much to entertain me. There's just something about talking cats that makes me LOL!

Amy said...

Talking chickens iz even better!

VioletSky said...

I do miss Scrabulous though.

Cindy said...

funny post! I created a FB account a few weeks ago... you are so right... it can eat away a good part of a day if you let it. I do enjoy the social networking it provides. It also lets me into the lives of my nieces and nephews, which is something I otherwise wouldn't have access to.

SuperPoke!

Susan said...

Amy, BUH-GAWK!

Susan said...

Sanna, I had to look up Scrabulous to see what it was. Then I remembered reading about the lawsuit in the newspaper. Yeah, I coulda gone for that.

Susan said...

Cindy, OUCH! Did I just feel an elbow in my side? :D

JackeeG4glamorous said...

I've had so many poeple ask me to join FB, but I don't EVEN want to know what it looks like.

I am plugging my ears and sayin "La, la, la, la, la, la," very loudly so I can't Hear you...

This was funny. I agree, I read more blogs than I blog myself, and I have a hard time keeping up with the lost time in my day when I do that! I'll stick to blogging for now. There is a big WWW for us to explore, before we go pokin our heads into the places accross the sea. (who was THAT talking?) Anyway, funny post.

Susan said...

Thanks, Jackee! Yeah, that's what I do now when someone wants me to join any 'net social group....lalalalalala!

Oliag said...

As a beginner blogger I'm always amazed that everyone can keep up with each other! How much time is needed for all this facing and tweeting and blogging! I'm slogging along...Love your post - a nice reminder to poke myself sometimes!

Susan said...

Oliag, as a beginner blogger you're doing a great job! Yes, sometimes I get a little too caught up in all of it so I have to take a step back.

Thanks!

Yolanda said...

I like this post. I only really use facebook to connect with friends and family back home in the south.

Don said...

I think I must have a FB account that I opened a long time ago. Every once in a while I'll get an invite to join someone and I don't even know how to open my page!!

I think the Tron guy DID look in the mirror and actually said to himself, 'Yeah, that's the look I was looking for."

Susan said...

Yolanda, thank you for stopping by! I really don't have anything against Facebook, it's just not for me.

I hope you vist again!

Susan said...

Don, I think Tron guy's mirror only shows him from the neck up! That's probably why he thought he was stylin'!

Ruth said...

Ha, I love this post, thanks for shamelessly lifting it and adding your hilarious photos! When I first got going with Facebook, I was adding friends left and right, then things sort of evened out after I located everyone from middle school algebra. By then of course I was in the habit of just checking to see if anybody was up to anything interesting (usually not.)
Now I never visit FB unless I get an email notifying me that I have a message. But I had to take it off my bookmarks just to resist the temptation. I guess I'm a recovering FB addict!
Twitter, now that has never tempted me. Enough already--I really do not need to know what you are doing right now, and vice versa!